three older poems.

Beating Day out on a Drum.

The sun rose.

we all stood at attention as the trucks

loaded with

my cousin,

his brother,

your friend,

rolled past at three miles an hour.

The bodies, stretched out at attention

side by side.

Five trucks worth.

I got permission to go back behind our lines,

to see if he was alive.

When we started school, we were both six years old

and the building still smelled like shoe blacking and pine,

the doors still laughed on shining hinges,

looking up into the new moon.

“How was it?”

“I couldn't feel the ground.”

He pulled out a photo of Leah.

I whistle low,

for the fiftieth time.

“Hot item right there.”

He laughs, kisses her,

slides her back into his chest pocket

left side.

Five times they charged the hill

before they were called back.

Word is they've given up

on that inflection

on my map.

I wind my trail back towards my naked hill,

ignoring the broken, crying flesh around me.

Dry, cracking tent flaps squeal up into the wind

as the old man looks down and down

from his perch on the sliver of frail light.

I am my own dream

and I will let no man shake me awake

to shrinking reality.

I walk the mile and a half,

the craters in the road forcing the trucks to a crawl.

But still,

to be alone

away from the mob,

to stumble over roots

and curse the emptiness

is welcome.

To stop and rest

on the sawed off trunk

that I sight over every night.

Up and up,

nod to the men leaning back,

hyenas in the trenches.

Nervous, fearing the night.

But the laughter does nothing

to drive the demons from our position.

I drop into the box,

the navel of our hill,

pick up my binoculars.

Scanning the jagged ground

I see a hill a mile,

maybe two,

from me,

and two men.

He slowly lifts the butt of his rifle to strike,

He cowers under an arm,

and both are embraced

in a fuming pire

and fade,

into the sunset.

The Rite.

Something was missing,

and it was there to stay.

He'd left it gnawing

in neatly tuned rows

and it slowly ground

out a melody,

slow,

slow,

slow.

In time to the pitter fleeting

ghost that stood and sang

those familiar words -

     “It is well

     and with his soul

     is severed.

     How sounding sweet,

     is grace amazing.”

And then we all stood,

“Aye, verily, aye.”

And the rite was passed

round,

round,

round.

In time to the vapit, vapit

feet, slaying time.

Laying him to rest.

Carousel.

deciding on whether the wandering is blameless,

     can be hypnotizing.

she walked in jagged circles...around...around...around...

     an empty carousel.

She was lost. not knowing which horse she had started from.

     was killing her.

Every time she completed her turn and moved towards the beach

     growing from the feet of a red stallion,

the man with the cane sitting on the blue bench between the giraffe and antelope

     tipped his cap towards her.

But she just swallowed hard, pretending not to see, and quickened her step

     almost to a jog.

slipping in the sand again, she muttered under her breath, and looked back

     at him, hoping hating to see him watching.

but he was turned towards her backwards wheeling footfalls

     his hand on the brim of his cap.

she began the circuit for the twelfth time, but as he tipped his cap she lost her courage,

     and fell beside the belly of an alligator

the toddlers had ridden him, with a parent on either side, holding their hands

     and laughing along.

the teeth were longer than she had thought from a distant glance, discolored and reddening

     it was an empty carousel.

But she just swallowed hard, pretending not to see, and quickened her breath

     almost cradling her lungs in her mouth

before she saw the cane resting on the mouldering snout.

     puncturing the rotten wood.

sun poems

The Sun Rose (Into the Sunset)

The sun rose.

we all stood at attention as the trucks

loaded with

my cousin,

his brother,

your friend,

rolled past at three miles an hour.

The bodies, stretched out at attention

side by side.

Five trucks worth.

I got permission to go back behind our lines,

to see if he was alive.

When we started school, we were both six years old

and the building still smelled like shoe blacking and pine,

the doors still laughed on shining hinges,

looking up into the new moon.

“How was it?”

“I couldn't feel the ground.”

He pulled out a photo of Leah.

I whistle low,

for the fiftieth time.

“Hot item right there.”

He laughs, kisses her,

slides her back into his chest pocket

left side.

Five times they charged the hill

before they were called back.

Word is they've given up

on that inflection

on my map.

I wind my trail back towards my naked hill,

ignoring the broken, crying flesh around me.

Dry, cracking tent flaps squeal up into the wind

as the old man looks down and down

from his perch on the sliver of frail light.

I am my own dream

and I will let no man shake me awake

to shrinking reality.

I walk the mile and a half,

the craters in the road forcing the trucks to a crawl.

But still,

to be alone

away from the mob,

to stumble over roots

and curse the emptiness

is welcome.

To stop and rest

on the sawed off trunk

that I sight over every night.

Up and up,

nod to the men leaning back,

hyenas in the trenches.

Nervous, fearing the night.

But the laughter does nothing

to drive the demons from our position.

I drop into the box,

the navel of our hill,

pick up my binoculars.

Scanning the jagged ground

I see a hill a mile,

maybe two,

from me,

and two men.

He slowly lifts the butt of his rifle to strike,

He cowers under an arm,

and both are embraced

in a fuming pire

and fade,

into the sunset.

Sun in Hand

Sun in hand and lift up my head

to the sky,

and see before me

scattered, the panes of Light

and pastures of grassy sand

floating, drifting apart

and swaying, swaying

to the rumbling Thunder Drums

Thrum...Thrum...Thrum...Thrum...

Crowns of flowers

wreathe the Sun's halo

as the deer bound for cover

and I lope home,

teeth bared in joy.

I slow to a pant

and let the rain catch me up

in its folds.

I can smell the palmettos burning

and know the Sun has built

His campfire

and He and Polaris and the Centaur

—His brothers—

beat the dirt into straining herds,

horses flying across the plains

and into the eye of the Moon.

Drift, fall into sleep

as the wind coos,

and the rain spells out

its abandoned tale

of when it played in the pussy-willow,

of when it was young and Mother

taught it how to feed the hungry ground.

I lie on the mat

and listen for the coyote's Wail

and answer it from the misery

that sits whittling the kindling wood

I stored away for the winter.

untitled

Tell your story (to the red-nosed minstrel)

scrape, scratch along

clawing the ground

search for breaks

in the sheen

cobalt armor

layered pattern

back and across

poured out stiff,

insensitive to language

or Alliance

I reach high,

high unseeing

mud coated eyes

I reach high,

high straining

fibers tearing

and knotting

I cannot see

with my face buried

locked down

down, wood

and metal

and clay

and straw

binding

Up,

Up, I reach

streaking flame

igniting my back ablaze

a ritual burning for all to see

My hands fall

they too are blind

and cannot feel,

covered over

week old blisters

hard and hating

crinkling

cracking

in the warmth

find the pink,

living skin

and frozen

blood

Beneath

Curse God

And Die

the soot and soil

welcomes my hands

back home—to the fireside

two chairs

and a scalding embrace

Tell your story

to the red nosed minstrel

so he has a song to sing.

Watch him,

stagger,

trip,

vomit.

Lose yourself in his words.

hey splash around

flaked,

dripping with tobacco juice.

Your Stomach tightens.

In the ash heaps

Ten thousand people lined the streets

to stone me.

They didn't know that I had already climbed

upon my funeral pire and lit the gasoline,

striking the match on the sole

of my foot.

Ten thousand people rushed to the beach—

they heard my singing—

and watched my castles burn

and sink into the ocean.

When it cooled

I could feel them climbing

up and up,

feeling for footholds

in the ash-heaps.

Looking for my bones.

Turning up the black

with spades—

a pickax.

And then, cheering,

they pronounced

that I was dead.

And pushed me

onto the reef.

From the dust

stand at attention and feel the grind

stone at the nape of your neck.

Gradually passing, passing by

you hear the guards roar off

into the night.

And you gasp for air

and recite the assassins

creed

for the benefit

of Mr. Joe Smith

who watched. and waited.

for no one knows.

Kept under the bushel

basket, his eyes

shining.

Blow back petals

across the back of the wind,

feel the rushing, gushing

empathy of the waves...

the pools of light...

Idle back into bed

and.

dream.

of sand castles

and clouded buttresses.

Mr. Joe Smith

sits beside you.

weaving a story

from the dust,

under

your bed.  

Poems to wander by.

Lamentations

Lament oh daughter of Zion

for your kingdom comes

and His will has not be done.

Just walk down 5^th avenue

to see the sites and grab

a cup of coffee.

Breath in deep,

feel the welcome cough

creeping through your chest

and know the mighty

and how they have fallen.

When He comes

He'll expect the grand

tour of your city's soul

will you take Him

to into your heart and show

Him the jumbo-trons

you've posted on every

valve?

Or take Him into your

arteries? to the cars

and trams flying

underneath your skin?

Or are you concerned

that His diagnosis will

confirm the change

in diet, all of your prophets

have decreed?

Have Him walk down

5^th avenue, and view

the gluttony for Himself.

And then, oh daughter of Zion

lament.

Watching buildings burn

Watching buildings burn.

Watching babies cry.

Heart only crawls,

...up...up...

kicking your adam's apple,

clawing at your tongue

if it is your own.

Long ago, were

we still unable

to weep?

Before we needed

a thousand friends

a thousand friends

to reassure our worth?

to damn us if more convenient?

The old berate us for forgetting

family.

Fathers.

Mothers.

Brothers.

Sisters.

But how can we forget?

Something that never was...

Mourn. Mourn!

The tribe has gathered round

and we all walk the Appalachian

in order to find each our lonely peak

in the Rockies

were we dance

until we fall

and the leaves

cover our eyes.

The movies have taught us

that to give away the heart

is weak.

Two can never be one.

We must follow our nightmarish

anonymity to its end.

Only in that nightmare,

can we truly be happy.

Be strong and courageous.

Poems written under the influence of airsickness and heavy doses of Dramamine.

nowhere to go -

today the bedclothes were pulled back and stared up at me

I turned my face away from the furious assault

and just took the beating across my back

yesterday it was overcast and rained.

Oh Rain!

and still I couldn't take enough in to satisfy.

A plate of grouper.

I eat alone.

Spare the crumbs.

and the knife and fork and buttered toast

with jelly off to the side.

there.

just past.

three o-clock in the afternoon

of the morning after

spin

spin

SPIN!

around...around...around...

till we can't anymore,

but that's just the way it has always been.

green and sparkling in the rain.

tilt your head into the clouds

coughing, because you did it too quickly

laughing, because you can't see

for the rain in your eyes.

I feel I must turn away before the rain melts my skin,

rushes down through my blood and settles in my stomach,

curl back up in bed

then I remember

and cough up the rainwater

gurgling

desperately...desperately...desperately...

lose myself for I have nowhere to go,

and if I can only disappear, then I will have nothing to worry me.

Foreign Shores -

And you'd like to be alone with the walking dead

speaking their incomprehensible language.

Quietly.

Soft mumbles.

For then you are swallowed up.

     For then you are swallowed up.

          For then you are swallowed wholly...

Empty of circumstance and sheephood

following an endless, passionately drab

stuttering.

Loving

To be alone.

With only the sputterings of your mind as companion.

Walk on foreign beaches,

foreign streets.

Drink foreign beer

and wine.

An imbecilic existence

following an endless, passionless brilliance.

Wander, wander, wander free—for they cannot understand

the broken tremors and meatless tongue.

Kneel and pray.

Incomprehensible in its passion.

While we were yet sinners.

Free to hate and purge and wrestle

with our humanity.

to

Kneel and pray.

Washed up on foreign shores

you wander, wander, wander free

you around, around, around free

Do you understand now the ineptitude of riches?

Now that you lie panting for putrified air?

Now that you lie panting for purified air?

On foreign shores.

From the rooftop -

From the rooftop,

a mountain

clapped with snow

dirt slides like a comet's tail

flowing down and down

from the sides

branching off,

still and smooth

like a beachcomber

seen from a distance

Stoop towards the street

last week's paper fluttering

perversely between a tram

and an old man, unaware

of the squealing

the paper is caught

flat against the grill

the old man turns

on the curb—

he feels the wind

snap at his coat

as death rushes by

paper screaming

its agony.

The sun, the Sun!

but blotted out

by the satellite dish

overhead

scorched a rusty gray.

Rain in its acidic glory

tramples out the dust

of the goats

and dissolves the

drum

drum

drum

of their bells

on the hillside

and dissolves the

clang!

clang!

clang!

of the bells

in the steeple.

As I leapt from the rooftop.

Weightless - 

We store away our souls in the overhead compartment and take our seats.

Fasten our seat-belts.

Breath in the whir of the engines.

Abandon ourselves to the rolling...rolling...rolling...and then SSSSSSHHHHhhhhhaaahhhhHHHHH...

Weightless.

Moment by moment.

Grow in closer contact with the sky as the stars laugh at our weakness.

How long have we been trying to lasso the sun?

Over and over again: failure. Putrid failure. Incandescent failure.

We are all overtly polite and bow and kiss the hand and kneel and bow again. But we fail, fail, fail, in every way.

Why?

And the hollow still fills up the chest in an agonized pounding. Resound down every corridor in stifling misery, crouching behind every door, behind everyone.

behind...behind...behind...behind...behind...behind...

We have always been panting, panting to catch up, but just as we sling our lasso the plane hits an downdraft and we drift

Weightless.

And our aim is shattered.